Grinding Teeth and Biting Nails
Many of my patients, who are stressed or anxious, tend to grind their teeth at night and/or bite their fingernails during the day. Since many people experience these symptoms at times of stress, I was always curious whether there are evolutionary explanations to it. Only after I myself started grinding my teeth, could I hypothesize evolutionary explanation to both symptoms.
While living in New York, we moved to a small community in Long Island that was controlled by a very strict board. Although there were many guest parking spots in our community, the rule was that each family should possess only one car. Since we owned two cars and we needed both
to them, we looked for an alternative parking spot for one of the cars. Unfortunately, in our residential area, there were no public garages.
The only place we could park was on a nearby public street, in front of expensive, private houses.
Since I was aware that owners of expensive houses do not like to see a strange car parked in front of their house, I decided to be polite and share with them my problem. I visited four houses, two on each side where I planned to park my car. The first three owners understood my problem and did not voice any objection. The third one told me in a very stern voice, "This is a public street; you are allowed to park here but I don't recommend it. If you do it, you'll be sorry."
I asked him for explanations. He answered very frankly, "I was raised in a slum in NYC. All my life I have been working very hard until I succeeded to buy a beautiful house. I hate watching a strange car parked in front of my house. It reminds me my old neighborhood." I told him that I understood his feelings, but since three of his neighbors allowed me to park in front of their house, one next to him and two across the street, and since I did not have any other option, I would park across the street, as far as possible from his house. He did not look happy.
After parking in that spot for a about a week, I found one morning that one of my tires was punctured. I called the police and told them the story. A police officer went to that neighbor and talked to him. He came back and explained to me that the man admitted that he does not like stranger's cars parked near his house, but he denied damaging my car. The police officer recommended that I should park as far as possible from that man's house. I did it, and after a week, the mirror, on the driver side of my car, was broken to pieces. I again called the police and another police officer talked to that neighbor. After about half an hour, he came back to me and said, "You are allowed to park on this street, any spot you wish, but if I were you, I would not do it. This man is very tough and you don't know
what he might do next to your car or to you personally."
I found another spot to park my car, unfortunately, farther away from my home. For a few weeks, I felt very angry and frustrated, especially whenever I parked my car and had to walk home. I had violent imaginations that are not typical to my calm nature. I imagined myself damaging his car, and writing letters to his neighbors describing his behavior. During that period, I found myself grinding my teeth at nights. Although I felt that I slept well, and did not have bad dreams, when I awoke in the morning, I felt pains in my jaws and I found out that my teeth had been grinding. I asked myself, "Is there any connection between my aggressive imaginations during the daytime, and the fact that at night I grind my teeth?" In other words, "Is there any connection between the two terms: clenching teeth and grinding teeth?"
I thought about two opposite explanations, that both seem to me to be correct:
• Can it be that during nights I enjoyed dreaming that I bit the neck of my neighbor?
• Can it be that while sleeping I became afraid that I might actualize my daytime aggressive imaginations, so I locked my natural weapon by grinding my teeth?
From a theoretical point of view, I assume that there is a psychological connection between grinding teeth and biting fingernails. Nails and teeth are the natural weapons of many mammals. Can it be that during evolution, human have been developing better weapons than teeth and
fingernails such as, knives and spears and as a result, we stopped using our natural weapons and they lost their shapes and power? Can it be
that modern human, in his primitive part of the brain, still relates to teeth and fingernails as weapons? A support of such an assumption is the fact that young children do use their teeth and fingernails as weapons against someone who makes them angry. Some women grow long and sharp nails and tend to use them when they are annoyed.
I found out that most of my patients, who grind their teeth and/or bite their fingernails, tend to block their negative feelings. Can it be that besides blocking their negative feelings, those who bite their fingernails send a submissive message, through body language, such as: "Don't worry; my bitten nails are not capable of hurting you?"
To finish the story about my own personal experience, I gradually stopped grinding my teeth without knowing for sure, if the reason was that my anger subsided, or because I theorized my unconscious reason for my symptom.
I encourage everyone who grinds teeth and/or bites fingernails to try self-help by practicing relaxation and mental imagery techniques. If it is not sufficient, it is recommended to seek the help of a psychotherapist.
Children and adults, who tend to grind their teeth or bite their nails, tend to have a cautious personality more than their peers. Since “knowledge is power”, it eases for self-acceptance and for positive coping with grinding teeth or biting nails, reading of the chapter
"Cautious vs. Daring" is recommended